The Stress Pastors Face and Why They Don't Seek Coaching

Being a pastor is a complex and demanding job that can take a toll on a person's mental and emotional health. Trust me, I know...

Pastors are expected to be there for their congregation 24 hours, seven days a week. They are expected to provide spiritual guidance and support as well as manage the day-to-day operations of their church. Let's not forget the responsibilities of baby dedications and weddings. Then there are the unexpected deaths of church members. In addition, many pastors are also husbands and wives, mothers and fathers, and have family responsibilities that are paramount to their ministry. All of these obligations can lead to significant stress and burnout. Unfortunately, many pastors don't seek counseling or coaching to help them cope with these challenges. 

After speaking with some pastors, I have found that one of the main reasons many don't seek counseling or coaching because of a fear of judgment from their congregation or colleagues. Some feel like they need to have all the answers and that they need to be the strong ones for their community. Admitting that they need help could be seen as a sign of weakness, and some pastors worry that they will lose respect or authority if they seek outside help.

Another reason many pastors don't seek counseling or coaching has to do with a lack of time. Pastors have demanding schedules that often leave little time for self-care or personal development. Some are bi-vocational or have hectic schedules. Finding time to work out, eat right, or just relax is hard for them. Between leading services, managing administrative tasks, and providing support to their community, there is often little time left for pastors to focus on their own needs. This can make it challenging to prioritize counseling or coaching, even when they know it would be beneficial.

Here's a big one. Pride! Yes, pastors can suffer from pride too. And too often, pastors won't seek counseling or coaching because they feel like it puts them in an uncomfortable or inferior position to another individual. This is the reason why I prefer to use coaching with pastors. I think coaching is more suited for pastors in most situations. In coaching, the pastor is in the driver's seat. They are the expert of their own life. As a coach, I am only there to assist them. Pastors are used to having assistants, and I assist pastors by helping them find answers to problems by asking the right questions. From these questions, pastors can come to their own conclusion and make goals for themselves.  

Now if a pastor needs counseling, a coach should know the difference and make a referral. However, if getting counseling is not the issue, coaching can be a very effective resource for pastors. 

As a member of the Christian community, we all need to work to reduce stigma and the barriers around counseling and coaching and encourage pastors to care for their own mental and emotional health as they continue to provide spiritual care for others.

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